A letter to my one year old

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Sweet Aidy Grace,

There just aren't words. Truly. You are one year old, and I can hardly believe it. At the same time, it feels like you've been here forever, and it was just yesterday that I stared - terrified - at that positive pregnancy test. I think the most bittersweet part of you turning one is that this whole year I've been able to look back and say "this time last year..." with the best memories of being pregnant, finding out you were a girl, spending time with your daddy, the final countdown to your big debut. Now those memories will be even further behind me. But when I think back to this time last year, I'll now be able to reminisce on the sweetest memories of your big milestones. The day you arrived, the day we brought you home, your first bite of food (avocado!), the day you learned how to crawl, your dance moves, your silly babbling, your first steps. I know the years will only get sweeter - until you're a teenager, Lord give me a grace.

When I look at you and am overwhelmed by love, I'm thankful you are God's way of giving a small glimpse into the love he has for me. I never understood when people would say, "There is nothing my child can do that would make me not love them." I mean, surely, there's something. Now I get it. Nothing. I will love you with my whole heart for my whole life, and luckily (or unluckily?) there is nothing you or I could do to change that. Isn't it crazy to know that God thinks the same way about us, but on a completely different level that we can't even comprehend? It's mind-blowing. (For real, I go cross-eyed if I really think about it.) I hope one day, when you're a mom, that you look down at that little bundle in your arms and you think "This is what mom and dad were talking about all these years". I hope you're not shocked at how much you love your sweet baby, I hope it just finally clicks that this is the love we've felt for you since day one and you finally understand.

Oh, little bug. You make me smile, you make me cry happy (and frustrated) tears, you make me laugh, you challenge my patience, you give me a completely different perspective on life, you make my heart burst with love. More than anything, you make me so proud. It is my greatest honor to be your mom, and you are my most precious treasure. I tell your dad all the time that there is no way I can love another child the way I love you. You will always be my favorite because there just simply isn't enough room in my heart. One day, when you, God-willing, have siblings I'm sure you will hold this over your head. (Mental note: When we have more kids make sure I write down that I actually do love them the same.)

Aiden means "little fiery one" and Grace means "the free and unmerited favor of God". Good night, could there be a more perfect description of you? We truly feel unworthy to be gifted with such a fiery little babe. You are smart, you are beautiful, you are so sweet, you are hilarious, you are curious, you are independent and ready to take on the world, you know what you want and you get pretty annoyed if anything gets in your way. You are pure joy.

My prayer for you every day is that you continue to be happy, healthy and bring joy to so many people's lives. That you know and love Jesus from a young age. That your daddy and I are good examples and point you straight to Jesus. That you are a bold voice of your generation. I am so excited to see what God has in store for you. They're big plans, girlfriend. I know this, because your personality is already larger than life - he's already prepping you for your mission field.

Happy first birthday, Aiden Grace!


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