It feels like it's been years since we were in the hospital with Aiden for Kawasaki Disease! Another lifetime ago, honestly. She's had multiple check ups since we were discharged on Christmas Eve, and I don't think I've done much updating on them. Her first post-hospital check-up in mid-January showed that she had developed two aneurysms on her coronary arteries. Adam and I heard the word aneurysm and just about passed out. The wonderful cardiologist quickly walked through what aneurysm actually means - dilation of the artery. It's not scary in itself, but could potentially cause problems if it got too big or shrunk too quickly. (The body. It's a crazy thing.) We were told we'd need to come back for more echo-cardiograms over the next few months to keep an eye on them, and that she would need an MRI a little further down the road to get a better understanding of what we were dealing with.

The MRI honestly scared me more than the hospital stay, because they would have to put her under anesthesia to keep her still enough to get the pictures they needed of her heart. After our third or fourth follow up with Dr. Iannucci (Saint Iannucci, if you ask me) in April, we scheduled her MRI for Thursday, July 28. We knew we would be back at CHOA for the MRI, but a different campus.

Our continual prayer through all of this, and especially leading up to the MRI, was that her heart would look perfect and they would have no answer for how it healed so quickly and perfectly other than it was a true miracle of God. In addition, we also asked God that if there was something wrong that He make it very known in the MRI so we could figure out our next steps immediately. Our church prayed for her, along with so many family and friends.

The day of the MRI arrived and we checked in at 6am. I know I said it in my original Kawasaki post, but pediatricians are angels. Truly doing God's work. They all have this gift of immediately dominating a room in the calmest, most gentle way. Everyone got down on our level - whether it was taking a knee or sitting in a chair - to walk us through every detail. The anesthesiologist, her nurses, the cardiologist - it's so clear that they are truly dedicated to all better.

Before they took her back, they gave her some medicine to make her loopy. It was hilarious! She was giggling and winding her head up. So funny. We gave our little love a kiss and away she went. They said the entire process would take about two hours, so we were pleasantly surprised when we heard she was done about an hour into it! She was not a happy camper when she woke up, and it took about 30 minutes to calm her down. We were told we would hear from our cardiologist the next week and we headed home.

I was surprised to see a voicemail from Dr. Iannucci that afternoon. A part of me instantly thought it must be bad news. Why would they be calling so soon? I can't even explain the relief I felt when he told me that her aneurysms were gone. Her coronary arteries are now measuring within the normal range for her age! Talk about answered prayers!!! You guyssss, God is such a good, good Father. (And I pray that I would say those exact same words if we had not received this ideal news.)

Aiden will most likely continue to see Dr. Iannucci once a year, but just for quick check-ups. As we've known all along - she's healthy as a horse!

Pictures of our goofy girl before she went back.

Aiden: One Year

One year old. We're here already. How? I'm not even going to try to think of something mushy or funny to say about how the time has flown and how much we love her. Go find a better writer and read what they have to say about the first year of motherhood, I bet my feelings are pretty similar.

• She took her first step on August 3 at my mom's house and officially started walking on August 24 - the day before her birthday! 
• She talks all day long, and I finally got a "mama" out of her! She's speaking her own language for the most part, but definitely trying to communicate. Lately we've gotten a lot of "this", and she just recently started saying "hi".
• Speaking of "hi", she's an expert waver. She's still a little wary to wave to new people, but then sometimes she'll sit at a restaurant and just wave to every single person who walks by. She's a joy.
• She gives the best open-mouth kisses. Oh, they're the best.
• She still has the greatest laugh.
• She loves to drink water out of our cup, and really loves to stick her hands in it. If she can, she'll grab ice from the cup and eat it. Weirdo.
• She also really loves to drink water in the bathtub. Except she fills the cup to the top and then tries to chug it. Basically, she water boards herself and then freaks out.
• She's still a great eater, but has discovered she can stand up in her highchair if we don't strap her down. She also stands up in the grocery cart and will only sit down if I go running through the aisles. Literally. I look ridiculous. She's a mess.
• If she has a free moment when Adam or I are preoccupied, she makes a beeline for the dog food and water bowl. I finally decided to just let her eat the dog food (cool parenting moment!), but she likes it! 
• If we take the dog food and water bowl away from her, she will (sometimes) go play quietly with her toys...for maybe 2 minutes. But it's the sweetest thing to watch. Such a big girl!
• Adam discovered that she loves a good back scratch. It's hilarious, and the only time she sits still.
• I don't know what's going on, but she is mosquito bait. The poor thing is always covered in mosquito bites! I'd love to quarantine her inside, but she loves to be outside. More bug spray it is!
• She has started to remember certain surroundings. When we walk up to the park she starts squealing, kicking her legs and flailing her arms because she knows she gets to swing. She does the same thing when we drive up the hill to my parents' house. Genius, I tell ya!
• She had her first "temper tantrum" at Target the other week. As I mentioned above, she won't sit still and has to stand up in any cart she's in. I let her out of the cart to play with boxes of thank you notes and when it was time to go I picked her up and put all of the boxes away. She was NOT HAPPY. It was the first time I really noticed that she was angry because I took something away from her. Oh, boy. Here we go.
• We celebrated her "Wild One" birthday on August 20! I'll post more on that later.
• She received an A+ at her one year visit to the pediatrician! She's weighing in at 20lbs 14oz (65%) and is 29.25" tall (50%). She also has two molars (top and bottom left), bringing her tooth count to ten!

Bathtub waves: https://vimeo.com/179922171

Sharing, kind of: https://vimeo.com/179922858

Peek-a-boo sprouts: https://vimeo.com/179922917
On the move: https://vimeo.com/179925625
Officially walking: https://vimeo.com/180100028

Other than her brief temper tantrum, she is truly the happiest baby. People comment all the time and ask if she's always this happy. Our answer is "yes!" I can't believe we've had the joy of having this chick in our lives for an entire year. Wow. We love you, AG. You are the brightest star and we're so proud that you're ours.

A letter to my one year old

Sweet Aidy Grace,

There just aren't words. Truly. You are one year old, and I can hardly believe it. At the same time, it feels like you've been here forever, and it was just yesterday that I stared - terrified - at that positive pregnancy test. I think the most bittersweet part of you turning one is that this whole year I've been able to look back and say "this time last year..." with the best memories of being pregnant, finding out you were a girl, spending time with your daddy, the final countdown to your big debut. Now those memories will be even further behind me. But when I think back to this time last year, I'll now be able to reminisce on the sweetest memories of your big milestones. The day you arrived, the day we brought you home, your first bite of food (avocado!), the day you learned how to crawl, your dance moves, your silly babbling, your first steps. I know the years will only get sweeter - until you're a teenager, Lord give me a grace.

When I look at you and am overwhelmed by love, I'm thankful you are God's way of giving a small glimpse into the love he has for me. I never understood when people would say, "There is nothing my child can do that would make me not love them." I mean, surely, there's something. Now I get it. Nothing. I will love you with my whole heart for my whole life, and luckily (or unluckily?) there is nothing you or I could do to change that. Isn't it crazy to know that God thinks the same way about us, but on a completely different level that we can't even comprehend? It's mind-blowing. (For real, I go cross-eyed if I really think about it.) I hope one day, when you're a mom, that you look down at that little bundle in your arms and you think "This is what mom and dad were talking about all these years". I hope you're not shocked at how much you love your sweet baby, I hope it just finally clicks that this is the love we've felt for you since day one and you finally understand.

Oh, little bug. You make me smile, you make me cry happy (and frustrated) tears, you make me laugh, you challenge my patience, you give me a completely different perspective on life, you make my heart burst with love. More than anything, you make me so proud. It is my greatest honor to be your mom, and you are my most precious treasure. I tell your dad all the time that there is no way I can love another child the way I love you. You will always be my favorite because there just simply isn't enough room in my heart. One day, when you, God-willing, have siblings I'm sure you will hold this over your head. (Mental note: When we have more kids make sure I write down that I actually do love them the same.)

Aiden means "little fiery one" and Grace means "the free and unmerited favor of God". Good night, could there be a more perfect description of you? We truly feel unworthy to be gifted with such a fiery little babe. You are smart, you are beautiful, you are so sweet, you are hilarious, you are curious, you are independent and ready to take on the world, you know what you want and you get pretty annoyed if anything gets in your way. You are pure joy.

My prayer for you every day is that you continue to be happy, healthy and bring joy to so many people's lives. That you know and love Jesus from a young age. That your daddy and I are good examples and point you straight to Jesus. That you are a bold voice of your generation. I am so excited to see what God has in store for you. They're big plans, girlfriend. I know this, because your personality is already larger than life - he's already prepping you for your mission field.

Happy first birthday, Aiden Grace!

xoxo
Mommy

And I'm Back!

In the beginning of the year, I promised that I would start using this blog for truth - not just the fluff. Now that's it August (oops), maybe I should hold myself accountable.

I love Jesus. So much so that I was finally going to declare my love for him in front of my family and our church on Sunday, July 24. Instead, I woke up in a full body rash that could have landed me on National Geographic (turns out I'm allergic to penicillin). I know Jesus is real, and nothing anyone can say or do will ever convince me otherwise. After being forced to reschedule that public declaration, I now know that Satan is also real. I've always put Jesus on a (well-deserved) pedestal, but never gave much thought to the one who is trying very hard to steal us away from Him.

Satan isn't your average bully. He doesn't knock you down, brush off his hands and walk away. He knocks you down. And knocks you down. And knocks you down. He doesn't ever think you've "had enough" and reach down to give you a hand. When you're at the lowest is when he strikes the hardest.

I'm at a low. From the outside looking in, my life looks pretty sweet. And to be honest, my life is pretty sweet. But I know better. I know how great it can be, because I've been there. Jesus doesn't settle for "meh". I'm in a rut because I've stopped putting Jesus first. Yes, I pray multiple times every day. But I'm really just going through the motions. Until tonight, I can't remember the last time I actually opened my Bible. We haven't been to church in weeks (well, technically we have - but we've just been loving on the babies in nursery). Church on Sundays has always been my weekly reboot, it helps me to refocus on Jesus. I've found I've been faltering without that, and I'm so ready to be back.

Early in our marriage, before either of us had found Jesus, I remember waking up exhausted thinking about the day ahead. There was always something to stress about. Money. The future. Our jobs. I felt like I was constantly clawing at the shore trying to keep my head above water. It was exhausting in every sense of the word. One of my favorite stories about how Jesus has worked in our life is when we learned to completely surrender control to Him. It was scary. It was unnatural for me. But it was the most liberating, freeing time in my life. When I let go, I realized I could float. Spending my energy on other things - such as my relationship with Jesus - made me feel like I was on a high. And everything I stressed about fell into place. Seriously, I would wake up and want to pinch myself because life was just so wonderful.

Lately, I find myself clawing again. Worrying about the usual suspects again. Money. Our future. Insert other cliche here. It's weird, because on one hand I have a very real sense of peace about financial freedom. I believe Jesus was kind enough to lay this peace on me because He knows it's a weak spot for me. For a long time I struggled with not having nice-to-haves, but I'm finally at a place where I can 100% say from my heart that I truly don't care about those things anymore. I remind myself on a daily basis that just the fact that I'm an American puts me at an advantage over the majority of the world. And who cares about this world anyway? I'm more concerned with where I'm spending eternity, and Heaven seems pretty legit.

Where was I going with this? Oh, yeah. I'm drowning.

I guess I figured once I knew and loved Jesus that I was done. Congratulations to me! WRONG. Jesus needs to be my #1 priority. Always. It needs to be the relationship I commit the most time and energy towards. Not Aiden. Not Adam. Without that steady foundation of Jesus, Adam and I are all sorts of out of sync. I'm not being the mom Aiden deserves. And like I said, I can't even remember the last time I opened my Bible before tonight. If I let him, Satan would relish this opportunity to keep knocking me down. To keep me from being the daughter of Christ, the wife to Adam and the mom to Aiden that I know I was created to be.

Here's the great news. Even though I certainly don't deserve it, God is always waiting in the wings. He's been waiting there since day one. He watched me rebel through my teen years. He watched me stumble through college. He watched me and Adam struggle through the first years of our marriage. He's watched me these past few months slowly drift away from Him and assure myself that "I got it". I'm sure I've broken His heart many times, but I'm also pretty sure I've made His heart soar. He never screamed or lost his temper or decided to just give up on me. He's always been there. And looking back on my life, I can see Him. He's been a quiet warrior fighting for my heart, always on the sidelines softly saying "I'm here. I'm always here and I will always love you."

But that's not where He deserves to be. He deserves to be front and center. He deserves my time and energy every single day. So here I am. TTYL, Satan. I'm back and I'm excited. Because I know how beautiful life can be when He's truly in the center of it.

Aiden: 11 Months

We were helping out in the church nursery the other week, and a more seasoned mom was telling me about a friend of hers who had NINE children. This individual said that ten months was always his favorite age, and I guess he would know. I have to agree - this past month was just so much fun! She's such a little human, and so interactive. Ugh, I just want to squeeze her and kiss all day every day!

"I'm 11 months old?? You're killin' me, Smalls!"

• She realizes she's a part of her environment, not just a spectator. It's fascinating to watch her explore and take in new things.
• I worked in church nursery with her one morning, and it was crazy to watch my girl interacting with other kids and playing with toys. Where did my baby go?
• She's such a sweet, happy baby and she loves to laugh.
• Speaking of her laugh, sometimes she erupts into baby giggles (oh, my heart), but a lot of time she just has these breathy "ha ha"s. It's hilarious. 
• She's started crawling up the stairs at Nonna's and Grandma's. Of course, we're always close behind.
• She can really wave now, opening and closing her fingers. We've noticed she rarely waves hello or goodbye, but will do it at the most random times. Making it even more adorable.
• She's curious about everything, which means she's constantly getting into everything. Her favorites are pulling books off shelves, pulling candles off the entertainment center, pulling everything out of her diaper organizer (and trying to eat her diapers - weirdo), pulling all of her clothes out of her drawers (and putting them back again), trying to eat the ottoman (and anything else she can grab and put in her mouth), turning Adam's XBox on and off... it's exhausting and fun!
• She always gags on her food... and then laughs. She finds herself hilarious (so do we!).
• Speaking of food, she is still a great eater! She loves scrambled eggs, bananas, watermelon, mac and cheese... anything! Thinking about it now, I really can't think of anything she won't eat!
• Recently she's decided she wants to share. As much as I love for her to feed me her half-eaten, mashed up food - it's pretty gross. She also wants to share all her food with dogs. ALL of it.
• She loves to play "hide and seek". We'll put a blanket over our head and she'll come rushing over to rip it off. (It's also my handy dandy tool when she goes crawling down the hallway and I'm being lazy and want her to come back to her room. Just throw the blanket on my head and back she comes!)
• The other day, she accidentally slammed our (heavy) wedding album on her hand. She didn't realize what she had done and she gave us the most ridiculous look. Adam and I could not stop laughing. (Don't worry, she was just fine!)
• On a similar note, she loves opening and closing books. Usually, when you ask her to open (or close) it, she will. Such a genius! 
• We all survived our first weekend away from her! She spent two nights with Nonna and Papa and two nights with Grandma and Grandpa. I'm sure she wasn't spoiled at all. 
• She had her first post-Kawasaki fever... and we didn't freak out! I was interested to see how I would react, and I'm glad I didn't have terror flashbacks or anything. It was just a little bug, and she was quickly over it. However, my mom, Jude and I all got strep within the same week! 
• She loves my jewelry - especially earrings and necklaces... anything she can pull.
• She's a crawling machine and has started to stand on her own! She's also started doing this silly bear crawl. Hard to believe it's only a matter of time until she'll be walking around.
• She just started clapping and dancing, and - oh my gosh - just thinking about it makes me want to go wake her up and eat her little face off!
• She went to Story Time with Grandma, Aunt Meagan and Jude - so I decided to find one near our house. We went a couple weeks ago, and she had a blast! (Now, if I can just find some mom friends in there...)
• Jude is her bestest friend in the whole world, and watching them together is the greatest thing, ever. Recently, he thinks that Aiden lives in a birdhouse at their home. He goes up to it and says "Aida house." I giggle every time I think of the story, because it's the CUTEST THING, EVER. Can't wait for the next Baby Causey to join the party in December!
• She still nursed in the morning and at night up until last week. I still haven't accepted it, to be honest. She just decided on her own that she was over me at night. Then this past weekend I found out I'm allergic to penicillin and broke out in a National Geographic-worthy full body rash. They put me on steroids and told me I couldn't nurse. So that was the end of morning feedings, too. Once I'm off the meds, I'm going to force her to nurse one more time so I can soak it in. (Am I crazy? Mayyyybe!)
• She's weighing in at 19.5 pounds and 28" tall.

Here are some videos of the fun we've been up to this month:

Little laughs: https://vimeo.com/174532952

Jude + Aiden = BFFs (kinda): https://vimeo.com/175636927

Her first attempt at sharing - oops: https://vimeo.com/174534466

She loves the water, and keeps dunking herself: https://vimeo.com/175207221

Sweet dance moves! https://vimeo.com/176246249

I mean, there are no words. This chick dominates every moment of our life and every inch of our brain space, and we wish there was more she could take up! We love every thing about her. She is the greatest and we are humbled by God's goodness through her everyday.

"Blessed"

This is my favorite thing to read as of late. And since I can't paraphrase better than this guy wrote, I'm just gonna leave this right here.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/scott-dannemiller/christians-should-stop-saying_b_4868963.html?

Parents Weekend Out

I remember planning this weekend when I was pregnant thinking I would probably be ready to leave Aiden for a few nights when she was ten months old. Turns out, I was right. I was probably ready to leave her - but I still didn't want to. Alas, we pulled the bandaid off and headed to New York on Thursday, June 30 for the #Greerzba wedding festivities!

Brent was the Best Man in our wedding, and Adam was one of the chosen few who made the short list of Groosmen for Brent's. The wedding was at the Wagner Vineyards in Lodi, NY. Where, you ask? It's about a 1.5 hour drive from Rochester, in the Finger Lakes. It was a beautiful part of the country, and we were excited to check out a new place.

The wedding took place on Friday, and I felt like an honorary groomsmen (sorry, guys!). I was staying at the Boys Cabin, with Brent and the other groomsmen and basically followed them around all day. The other wife, Emiley, is pregnant and spent most of the day relaxing (well deserved - she has two little boys at home, too!). Before we knew it, we were getting dressed to head out to the big event.  

Beautiful backdrop for a wedding.

The Greers! We were so honored to be there for their big day. 

Emiley and I got a little chilly - thank goodness for husbands with jackets!

The beautiful bride! It was my first time meeting Julie, and we hit it off right away. Can't wait to see her again now that the wedding craziness is over. 

After a quick two nights in Lodi, we got up Saturday morning and headed back to Rochester for the quick flight to NYC. Adam had never been to The Big Apple and I was beyond excited to be there with  him!

We dropped our luggage off at the hotel and headed out to see a few of the nearby touristy spots.

Up first... 30 Rock and Times Square! (Adam was such a good sport letting me take all these pictures of him.)

Grand Central Station

Once our room was ready, we headed back to our basecamp for the next two nights - the Waldorf Astoria! My mom was sweet enough to cover the difference from the original hotel where we were planning to stay - my "commission" for sending her so much travel business. :) A girl I work with happens to live in NYC and was making me a list of must-visit restaurants and bars, and once she heard we were staying at the Waldorf she called and had us upgraded to a King Suite! 

We felt very fancy! When the Front Desk gave us our key it said '15V', and we weren't really sure what that meant... until we got off the elevator. (Getting fancier!)

Our room has double doors!

Anddd that's the last picture I took of our room. Oops! It was so beautiful and the bed was insanely comfortable. I don't think Adam was able to really appreciate it, because he's never seen a typical NYC hotel room!

I noticed my first night in Lodi that I forgot the outlet adapter for my breastpump - nooooo! I panicked, but Amazon Prime saved the day and this was at the hotel when I arrived. (How fancy is that envelope? I'm telling ya - FANCY.)

We met up with Christine for a drink at The Crow's Nest and then over to Tonic. I love a good rooftop bar situation, and both of these fit the bill.

For dinner, we headed to Lombardi's. "Apparently" it's America's first pizzeria. 

We walked around Little Italy for a bit before we tapped out and headed back to the hotel. We couldn't hang - we were exhausted!

Check out this view from our hotel window - the Chrysler Building!

The next morning we headed to Little Collins for a quick breakfast. This was toast with pb&j...and coconut flakes! So simple and delicious.

We navigated the Subway (hooray us!) and made it to the 9/11 Memorial and Museum. I had seen the memorial before, but the last time I was in the city the museum wasn't built yet. 

The museum was a must for every American. So heart-wrenching, but also so interesting. You will spend the entire time crying or choking back tears.

After about two hours in the museum, we made our way to the water so Adam could see the Statue of Liberty. He had no desire to actually go (thank goodness), so a quick look sufficed. 

We then made our way to Grand Banks for cocktails and lunch. It was adorable - a restaurant on a boat! And I had literally the greatest cocktail (wine-tail?), ever - The Skipper Key.

On Pier 25, after lunch. That's the Freedom Tower in the background. 

Being so city and figuring out the subway.

We specifically made our way to the Upper West Side just to grab some cookies at Levain Bakery... until we came upon this line. The cookies are good, but not that good! It was a bummer, but we just moved on to Central Park.

Central Park was beautiful and fun to walk through! We saw a fun little roller skating club, and they were a blast to watch.

Someone told them it was our anniversary, so the hotel sent up a bottle of champagne! We felt so fancy sitting in our robes drinking champagne. (It was also the first time I saw Adam in a robe, which was hilarious.)

Downside to traveling with just two people, there's no one to take pictures!

We did find someone to take our picture in the lobby - A for effort, I guess.

We grabbed dinner at a pub recommended by Nathan and Meagan, The Long Room. We really just wanted some normal, cheap (ish) food - and the pub did the trick! Adam wanted to see Times Square at night, so that was our next stop.

This is Adam's "you're the worst at taking selfies" face. Haha. 

We ended the night at Refinery Rooftop. It was a beautiful bar and a beautiful night - what more could you ask for? Oh, maybe this view of the Empire State Building!

I loved seeing the city lit up for the 4th of July!

The Waldorf Astoria! I'm so glad we were able to stay at this historic hotel before it gets turned into condos next year!

We were up bright and early (like 5:15am, barf) on the 4th of July to head home to our munchkin. I told Adam I was nervous how she was going to react to seeing us, and she did not disappoint. She was in her carseat and Adam opened the trunk to put the luggage in. She saw him and immediately started crying! But in a " Daddddy! It's YOU!" kind of way. We had to get her out for some snuggles before we made the trek back home.

We spent the rest of the day relaxing, until dinner at the Causeys with our patriotic little babe!

I may or may not have mentioned how much I missed Aiden every thirty minutes, but it really was an amazing weekend. Adam and I had felt so disjointed lately. It's hard to make time to work on your marriage when you work full-time and have a baby, but man is it necessary. I honestly don't know how people do this whole marriage thing without putting God in the middle of it. So a big shout out to Jesus - thanks for pulling our hearts closer to you, and closer to each other.